Positive Parenting
Posted by Tina Cannon PhD LMHC in Parenting on 11-27-2009
Your main job as a parent is to nurture growth and change in your child, as well as to give guidance, encouragement and support. When your child is a newborn, they depend on you for food, protection and health care. It may be difficult for you to imagine them ever growing up and changing, but they will and part of your job is to welcome and nurture the growth in your child. They will grow physically, emotionally and spiritually and they will need you to guide them to be a healthy, mature individual.
Four suggestions to being a successful parent and add to your natural parenting skills to give your child the best start are as follows:
Show Your Love: Little ones do not always understand the words “I love you” but they do connect with smiles, hugs and kisses, playing and singing. Pay attention to your child by listening and watching them which makes them feel special and secure. This also helps build a good foundation for self-esteem.
Be A Good Example:
Children will imitate their parents as a way to show their love for you. Your child learns how to behave, develop new skills and take care of themselves from watching you and will closely pattern their own behavior and beliefs after yours. Being a good example for your child means being responsible, loving and consistent with your child and all other members of your family.
Communicate Honestly and Openly:
Communication is one of the most important skills that you can teach your child. Even as a newborn, they will gaze into your eyes and listen to your soothing voice. They will watch and listen to you as you communicate with others to sort out concerns and problems in an understanding and patient way. They will learn how to express their feelings and be open and honest with you, if you lead the way.
Spend Time Together: It is important to spend a great deal of time with your children. Spending time with your children gives them the ability to know you and feel confident of your love. You can work full time and still spend quality time with your child daily. The important thing is that you devote the time just to your child, meeting both your needs together. It is up to you to direct your attention and shape your schedule that you can spend this quality time with your child.
I really agree with these tips you have given. They are sounding very simple but are probably not easy, at first. Getting counselling and psychotherapy can probably help build one’s confidence and competence in positive parenting for perhaps, until we know how to “parent” ourselves, can we really parent others effectively?
This blog entry should be mandatory reading for all parents as too many of us tend to be reactive than proactive in our approach and interaction with our kids.
Spending time with children, being openly affectionate and demonstrative of our love, communicating (particularly LISTENING to our kids), and modeling respect and compassion will help our children become emotionally healthy adults.
My wife and I have a plaque in our house with a poem whose title is “Children Learn What They Live.” It’s an important reminder … of what’s really important.
Best Regards,
Andy Lax
Andy, I agree with you 100%. “Children learn what they live.” When I am working with a child patient, I often spend a lot of time with their parents helping them learn how to parent in a positive, proactive and validating way. Most parents just need a little guidance in the right direction and when they see the difference in their child, it is amazing! Thanks for your wonderful comment.
Hi Tina,
As a former school guidance counselor, I realize that the role that you assume is so crucial. You’re truly making the “proverbial difference” in the lives of these families.
Unfortunately, too many parents do not seek guidance and direction and fail to acquire “parenting skills” — some oblivious to their children’s basic emotional needs.
In this chaotic world, where we adults are having are own difficult times navigating life, there are so many “little things” that we can do to benefit ourselves and particularly our children (hugs, kisses, open dialogue, praise, etc.).
Tina, keep on working in the field and writing about parenting — and your message will be heard by many.
I truly appreciate your contribution!
Warm Regards,
Andy Lax